Responding To Men (Especially if you want an alpha male…)

We meet many different types of men on a daily basis. Some are very obviously alpha males from the front; from the outside. Others are quietly so. And the rest are betas or a mixture of the two.

This post is for those of us looking for an alpha male.

The key thing I guess I have learned, and particularly want to talk about today, is the fact that men are watching. Men are watching you, everywhere. All the time.

Responding to any man’s opinion of you

So I have a group of girlfriends, of which half are in a relationship and the rest single. The four of us are very, very different. The strongest of the relationships is my friend Daisy’s* relationship with her fiancé, Stephen*.

Stephen is an alpha male if there ever was one.

Stephen met daisy on a night out, saw her and simply had to have her. Daisy – from what I heard – played a little “hard to get”. She literally wouldn’t give him her phone number, he had to track her down on social media and asked for the digits a few times before she finally gave him it.

If Stephen was not an alpha male, this simply would not have happened.

Over the course of their engagement, Daisy has been telling Stephen important details from events that happen in our friendship group, everything from nights out, dinners, shopping days to simple chats on the sofa. She shares everything with him that he requires to know. Always expect your friends’ husbands and partners who are alpha males to know about you, because they do.

The reason for this is that alpha males, more often than not, concern themselves with who their girlfriend is hanging out with. These males know, and rightly so, what the opinions, actions and behaviours of his woman’s friends can potentially do to their relationship whether good or bad. The alpha male doesn’t want her friends to talk badly about him, to give his woman any unwelcome ideas or teach her subtly to become manipulative. Equally, the alpha male wants his wife or girlfriends to have friends who behave in such a way that he would like his wife to behave.

Now, at this point you may be thinking… how does it affect me, what my friend’s husband thinks of me? When you are not trying to impress him, but find a man of your own?

What he thinks of you is a mirror of what any potential alpha male thinks of you as a romantic prospect.

So let me give you my own example of this from my own life, and tell you how I gain from this situation.

Never do I speak badly about Stephen to Daisy, or to anyone.

I always encourage Daisy to be patient, feminine and always remind her of Stephen’s good points when she wants to vent or moan about him.

I always take a polite interest in Stephen when I see him, and show him parts of my life e.g. my new home, to see how he responds to the actions and decisions I have taken. This not only builds Stephen’s trust in me, but it lets me see how am I doing in the eyes of an alpha.

When Daisy and Stephen were arguing on a night out, I chose to avoid the drama and talk good things about each person to the other. I chose to calm the argument rather than fuel it. I did not take her side like most women do. I had grown, evolved and chose to not hate men. I chose to be the friend of men and not fan the heated drama that most men hate.

Stephen was concerned that Daisy may cheat on him because another girl in our friendship group is cheating on her partner. I responded to Stephen’s openness about his concerns by informing him that actually, Daisy can’t stop talking about how happy she is to be with him, and to look at myself – I haven’t turned into a cheating woman who sleeps around so why would Daisy?
I help Daisy with her relationship. If Daisy wants to cook a meal for Stephen I help her come up with ideas or learn how to be a better cook.

Because of all the above, Stephen tells Daisy that he’s glad she has me a friend and that he likes me the most out of the group. Woopee, I hear you say.

It has emerged that Stephen has a very close single male friend who is looking for his own relationship. This male friend is finding it hard to meet the kind of woman he needs. Stephen and Daisy have told him I exist. Stephen has sung my praises. The friend is very interested.

This little story would never have happened had I not remembered that men are watching, all the time.

You Are Who You Spend Time With

Another facet to this story is that, the more time I spend with Daisy and Stephen, the closer I myself feel to achieving the same. Instead of lusting after what they have, my confidence is growing and I know that I am more ready every day for when my own man arrives. Even more ready than Daisy.

I choose to spend time nurturing the things in my life that I know are appealing to romance. I work hard in my job but I know my career is not the most important thing in the world. Intelligence, however is always appealing and lifetime learning is so important. Experience and knowledge make you an interesting person, rather than just a pretty face to look at. If you can physically attract, mentally stimulate and emotionally soften a man, he will be yours.

Don’t be afraid to avoid the feminist way of life. It’s not wrong to want to get on with men, even to want to please them. It’s not wrong.
Don’t be shy to admit that you are feminine and to embrace your femininity and show it off!
Do enjoy being kind to all men and not going down the typical route of hating them.

For more of learning how to embrace your locked away femininity, and start restoring the harmony between the masculine and feminine relationships in your life, and generally to be happier and go slightly against the grain… enter your email address below or contact me here.



Wishing you dear reader more love, light and harmony in all areas of your life.

Developing the Strength to Cope With Men

One of the things that’s going to get you into the right headspace for dealing with a man (and believe me, to follow the knowledge in this site, and to keep growing, and doing better than yesterday, you need to be in the right frame of mind!!) is to remember and truly understand something that you have heard a million times.

It’s not the destination; it’s the journey.

The destination will allow you to express your mastery of the area you choose; to demonstrate the level of perfection you have achieved. This is pleasurable for human beings which is why we always try to be the best in something. Whether that’s reaching the top of the career ladder; looking like a beautiful human being; or in this case having the harmonious and loving relationship you desire.

But to get there, you need to learn how to be happy in doing the everyday tasks relating to your goal because ultimately, this is what life is.

Being happy in your day-to-day life is what’s going to give you the tools to respond effectively to the men in your life. Your calmness, and your ability to think before speaking, is what will make you a joy to be with in life; rather than a drain. This emotional intelligence is what men see in a woman after the initial impression of beauty; and this is what keeps you in their life… or makes them long for you to be their life partner. An understanding and patience when it comes to how men really are is what will get you far.
And to do that, you need to be calm and happy within yourself.

So enjoy your life. If you don’t, alter the things you don’t like and do more of what you love. How to do that is beyond the scope of this piece of writing but it’s something you can certainly research.
When you feel ready, come back and learn about true femininity.

Playing Men At Their Own Game (Here’s How)

• Him ignoring you is a very, very common and calculating strategy men put in place temporarily to achieve one of the following:

1. To find out how much you like him
2. To increase your interest in him (uncertainty creates attraction)
3. To simply get rid of you in a less harsher way than simply telling you he isn’t interested (this may not have been the primary aim, but your reaction to this strategy could cause your value to fall in his eyes)

• some men, particularly those who you meet online – but especially those who you don’t know much about , will only implement this strategy after they have “lured” you in…this means, a man may show a stark contrast in his behaviour from the way he was at the start. Men you don’t know will put in effort to prove themselves, otherwise it wouldn’t make sense for them to disappear so early (unless they simply don’t like you).

• Given the above, your options are as follows, depending on how the situation turns out:

1. if he does reappear after a few days, take at least 2-3 days to get back to him. When you do get back to him, appear happy and light, as if you barely noticed he was gone. This way, he sees he doesn’t have a 100% hold on you (why men love bitches, sherry argov) and your attraction to him grows, and yet he still knows things with you are possible. He won’t give up. He’s a hunter.
2. If he does NOT reappear, do not by any means get in contact with him. For any reason. At all. Why? Because this man has just shown you that he is absolutely not interested. There’s a chance that if you do get in touch with him, he will use you. And play with your emotions further.
3. With regards to the previous point, please understand that some men are very insecure and that he may have been interested in you but thought he’d play a game however -because you are a valuable, desirable female – he is now beaten by his own game as he doesn’t have you at all. This is not the kind of man you want to end up with as the relationship would always be on his terms.

 

If you need further explanation of what the above means, or have your own situation that needs a personal analysis – you can book a consult with me, see details on contact page for my email address and I will provide you with a list of services.

Your Breakthrough Is On The Way

What are you waiting for? Don’t you believe you deserve it? Or do you not truly believe that you’re ready to receive it? If you don’t have it…it’s because you’re not as ready as you think you are.I remember every time I thought I was ready for something, and didn’t get it, I would learn later that I wasn’t really ready.We think we’re ready, but there is always something we can be doing to grow while we wait. God won’t put more on us than we can bear, so we have to trust His perfect timing.The Universe is conspiring for your success. Things are shifting in YOUR favor and everything must be aligned in order for you to receive your blessing.While you’re waiting, keep working on you. Force yourself to grow. Get more knowledge in that area and read more about it.Talk more about it…work towards it, and you’ll get closer each day. What you don’t understand now, you’ll understand later. It’ll all makes sense and you’ll see that His timing is perfect.It doesn’t make sense in the moment, while you’re waiting on your breakthrough, but when you do finally get your breakthrough…you’ll be happy.So sit, pray and continue to have faith–then, get to work. All while being patient–patience is the virtue.Don’t let the wait hurt you, let it help you.Your breakthrough is on the way.Blessings,Tony Gaskins Jr.

Source: Your Breakthrough Is On The Way

How To Regain A Man’s Interest

Today’s post is from a very special guest, relationship coach and writer Tiffany McEvoy from Born To Be A Heroine.

Tiffany Mcevoy is a relationship coach and writer for high-achieving women who are ready to quickly meet and marry their soul mates.  She has been coaching since 2010 and has worked with women from every continent on how to attract and sustain the healthy, loving relationship of their dreams.  She currently resides in London, and can be reached at www.borntobeaheroine.com

How To Regain a Man’s Interest

It’s scary when you feel a man’s interest is slipping away from you.  He was so devoted in the beginning; calling all the time, wanting to take you out, making plans for the future.  But one day, you notice something a little different.  His interest seems to be waning, but at first it isn’t in any way you can put your finger on.  He just seems a little more aloof.  Then he calls less often, and the spaces between seeing him get further and further apart.  He cancels dates and seems to prefer spending time with his friends over you.  You can’t deny it to yourself any longer; you’ve definitely gone down in his list of priorities.

At this point, it’s tempting to do everything you can to win him back.  You might be dying to call him for a heart to heart about “where things are going” (don’t!), or to start taking the initiative to call him and ask him out more often.  You might try to be extra sweet and pleasing, putting his behavior down to “stress at work” or “stress over a fight he had with his mom”, or “stress over it being the 5th anniversary of his goldfish’s death”.  You think that by being kind and understanding, he’ll realize what a prize he has and snap out of his funk, showering you with the love and devotion you deserve.

Of course, none of this works.  It seems the sweeter you are and the closer you move towards him, the further away he pulls.  So, how do you regain a man’s interest when he starts to pull back?

Focus on your own life:  Take your attention off him and put it on the most important person in your life; you.  What are your big dreams and aspirations?  What is it you’ve always wanted to do?  Throw yourself into those dreams.  A relationship is just the icing on top of the delicious cake that is your best-lived life.  Select one of your most cherished life goals and take steps to make it a reality within the next year.

Practice radical self-care:  Make a list of all the things you love to do that increase your energy.  Now decide that you’re going to take time every day to do at least 3 things on that list.  They don’t have to be major; it can be as simple as taking 15 minutes to curl up with a good book and your favorite brand of hot chocolate, or using a luxurious body lotion after your shower.  But you’ll find your energy levels and sense of well-being will increase, making you that much more radiant and magnetic.

Give him space to miss you:  Be so busy with your own life that you’re not chasing after him.  Let him reach out to you to find out where you are.  Men fall in love in the gaps between when they see us, so give him room to start coming towards you again.  If he’s pulled away in his previous relationships, he’s probably used to women tracking him down.  The fact that you’re behaving differently will intrigue him and make him wonder why you’re not acting like all the others.

Don’t give him your best days:  If he’s downgraded you on his list of priorities, then he’s lost the right to have you bookmark the best days of the week for him.  Don’t see him on Friday or Saturday nights.  Instead, squeeze him in for lunch on Wednesday afternoon, or a quick coffee on Tuesday evening.  He needs to earn the right to have you reserve the best times of the week for him.

Book a vacation: But NOT with him.  Find a few girl friends and take yourself away somewhere nice for a week or two.  Just tell him casually that you’ll be away, tell him where you’re going and then leave it at that.  His imagination will start working overtime at what you might get up to and who you might meet while you’re away somewhere new and exciting.  He’ll also see that you aren’t being needy and depending on him to be the source of your happiness.

Assuming he’s a good guy (and not deliberately pulling away to increase your anxiety), following the above steps, and returning to your authentic self will remind him of the wonderful woman he has, and what he stands to lose if he doesn’t step back up to the plate quickly.  You’ll also set yourself apart from the vast majority of women out there who would be more than willing to chase him down, and you’ll instantly become more rare and valuable in his eyes.

Special thanks to Tiffany for this insightful guest post, go and check out her site and a book a consult because ladies, if your man is pulling away it’s time to pull back twice as fast and twice as far!!

 

 

Get The Guy. Stage One: Finding Him/Getting His Attention

get his attentionImagine you are online dating site. You have amazing pictures up, a good yet mysterious description, and a decent guy contacts you. A few exchanges later, you are really excited because he asks you on a date. If you are like many girls out there, you would put a little more care into getting ready for this date than you would if you, say, were going to work or the supermarket. You take the necessary steps to ensure you have the best chances of him finding you attractive, right?

So the thing is, while you’re going to the supermarket or work, you have JUST AS MUCH CHANCE if not MORE to attract a guy. There are loads of guys out there in your day-to-day life who would be bowled over by how you look on a date – so why not look like that everyday and maximise your chances?! You need to put in the same amount of effort as you would going on a date or as you would if you were taking an online dating profile picture.

The truth is anyone can be made attractive, it just takes some of us more work and effort than others. And if you think that’s shallow – take a reality check – the majority of men out notice women who they find attractive. Not saying that’s the only way to attract a man, but it’s the way to find a lot more new ones. And dating is a numbers game if you want the best quality.

If a man can see that you are making the best of what you have, he subconsciously knows that you take care of yourself. You don’t have to do what every other woman does or have the same hairstyle, just do what you know suits you, what gives you confidence!

 

For extra help, here are some of the things that The Rules advise. You don’t need to agree or follow, but these tips are if you want to attract as many men as possible. Dating is a numbers game!

♥ Wear a short skirt, but not too short – if you have the legs for it

♥ Wear stylish, sexy clothes with nice colours!

♥ Don’t be a fashion slave – Find out what suits you

♥ Diet and exercise – if you are overweight wear black, it’s slimming

♥ Wear makeup that suits you – never leave the house without makeup!

♥ Grow your hair long – men like long and feminine styles.

♥ Have good grooming habits – manicures, pedicures, facials

♥ Wear perfume

♥ Act like a woman, be happy and not depressed. Smile!

 

Don’t forget we have a secret Facebook group for any advice you may need..

xx

 

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